Do you believe in fairy-tales? Fairy-tales are FAKE

Just a thought that comes to mind: do you believe in fairy-tales? I’m going to get to the bottom of it all, I have just about had enough of the children building their future-plans or dream based on fairy-tales, such stories do not exist in reality.

I would have to admit though that I would say, I’d “like” to believe in fairies and tales that have much fantasy where a dragon can breathe fire and princesses live in castles etc but I’ve come to realise that in reality- can we really live in a fairy-tale- in this world?

Growing up, or should I say, when I was eight years old and growing up I loved the idea of princes’ and princesses, or even to say how Cinderella had been house-keeper to her step-family; I especialy loved the idea that it proved how experienced she was in cleaning, cooking and doing the housework although she was not happy- at least she got a happy ending. The problem with Cinderella, and other fairy-tales is that no matter what you love about them, the reality is that we do have Cinderellas and sleeping beauties and beauties and the beasts, in this world there are these women walking the earth and they have a story- much like from a storybook but there is no magic to it, so, we’ll find Cinderella without her fairy-godmother or Belle without her beast turning perfectly human, or pretty. Women who are princesses in the heart but face life similar to Cinderella or fairy-tale princesses WITHOUT happy endings or princes. 

Bottom-line: the fairy-tales in living reality are nightmares worse than even your or my imagination. Take for example the story of Adeline Yen Mah, my favourite childhood story and growing up I reflected on her story and realized that even though it seemed very much like she was the Chinese Cinderella- yes she had a happy-ending- but for some women, being Cinderella at the very beginning starts at a very older age for them…Perhaps in their twenties or thirties.

Let us be more Muslim now, and think from an Islamic angle. Fairy-tales?! Out of the question!! Islam would never have you even believe in magic because in reality, magic have bad side-effects, have a one-side affect much like voodoo has unrealistic, harmful evil and disasters to it. I want to change our point-of-view regarding fairy-tales, brothers and sisters! (mostly sisters!) fairy-tales are fake! It did me a great deal of confusion when I was a lil kid and dreamed real big. Having big dreams is okay, but they must be realistic and likely- something achievable that you feel you can work and succeed with.

There are no fairy-tales in Islam, as much as I’d like to enjoy and live in a make-belief world or read, listen to make-belief stories- they are all unrealistic and have one point in every story: love. That no matter what in life, love is life and if you do not have love or if you are unloved- you have no life. In truth the heroes that saved the princesses of the tales, are men, or “princes” and the stories focus more on the princesses than the princes so the child does not grasp what the prince has gone through or what his life-history is. Thus we come to terms with the idea that no matter what the man is who rescues you- he is your love and life. In islam, love is not the man and single Muslimahs must not feel like they have no life unless marriage comes their way, if you feel unloved or feel you need some love- if you have nobody then who do you have? You have Allah, god, the one God who created you because He wanted you to be made and to be here. He wanted that, so He made it BE and it is.

My views on fairy-tales have come to the crunch that, if you want to live a fairy-tale in this dunyaa- in this materialstic world- it all comes at a price, no jannah in the hereafter. Sin is found in this world when you pursue a fairy-tale life or when you dream in that realm. If you find pleasure, happiness or love through sin or through other ways: you will never be happy. Can money buy happiness? No. Can being in a big castle, or living in such an expensive place make you happy? Short-term, yes but not long-term.

But….The truth is, if your answer would be: but women need to believe in something and dream, they need to have something to look forward to or be a part of.

My answer to that is if you look at true stories, that have true happiness in them- similar to the happiness found in the storybooks of fairies or fairy-tale princesses (like how Cinderella married into the Royal Family and became wife to a prince and queen to the kingdom…)- look to the golden era of RasulAllah, and build your dreams based on his time and his wives’ true stories. The beauty of Aisha (RA), to be so knowledgable and how about Khadeeja (RA)? These are true queens of Islam who lived a happy life and died a death happier than to live in this life, even happier- because as we all know how Khadeeja (RA) was promised a pearl-house in Paradise! Such stories, true and happy ones, these are examples we should look to and realize that what they got IS attainable for us too. If you want a castle, or A Happily Ever After- build your bond with Allah, make Him your friend and try to follow the example of the wives of the prophets, their patience, their chastity and dignity, their hope and fear of Allah and their beauty. They had beauty more beautiful in the heart as was of their looks too. Maasha’Allah.

So do you believe in fairies? No, the closest to believing in flying beings to me are fire-flies but there is no living proof or evidence of fairies existing in this world, reality. But I do believe in Paradise and believe that for those who work hard in this world- there are pearl-houses for everyone and castles and kingdoms for everyone in Paradise.

We pray Allah helps us worship Him in the best way, love Him in the best way and attain Jannah ameen.

Ramadan Thoughts

Well… I’ve decided to type out what I think or concerning how I feel, indeed. 

I’d expected this Ramadan to be quite spiritual and I would have expected to have that sort of “united, family” feel to it. I experienced that before but this year it feels all the world isn’t fasting except me. Strange? Yes! Quite. What to do? I guess it works better if you tighten the loose ends of your bond, relationship with Allah. Praying five times a day is the warrior, the height of dedication! But doing more acts of righeousness and good deeds will help- after all the feel of Ramadan should not essentially be found in the brotherhood or sisterhood of this ummah, of Muslims being together (especially for the taraweeh prayer, which I’ve not gone to due to it being way past my bed-time…) but Ramadan could also be felt with the recitation of the Quraan and when you read it as if it is being revealed all over again.

I believe that since Ramadan is the month of mercy, thinking about the poor people who also go hungry just as you do, I understand very much how they feel because during my first few days in this month it was quite difficult fasting without my stomach churning away…Like there’s a little monster inside me! lol! Astaghfirallah, but I just think it quite fascinating to hear how loud your stomach could complain and grumble away… But anyway after the first few days, it came to a point where I hardly recognized I was fasting and when you break your fast- you really, really appreciate the food and drink and the ability to even swallow and digest. Subhaan’Allah, the gift of fasting and to do it while obtaining reward from Allah since it is a command and an obligation to do so… It is just amazing! When I also could no longer fast for a while, I knew when to eat and when to not eat like I’ve been well-disciplined naturally to eat when I’m hungry or starving and then to not* eat after I’ve satisfied the hunger or fulfilled that need. ..

The funny thing about it all is how some people fast in Ramadan just for fitness or health reasons, like intending to lose weight… When in reality Ramadan is all about the Quraan and fasting- not about banquetting and feasting. Although I must admit that for whatever food you have to break fast with during Ramadan, to you it turns into something  like a great big feast. Maasha’Allah. 😉

Ramadan Mubarak to all.

 

 

 

 

Living a happy life…Without any regret

Don’t tell me no-one’s been there before? So, you do a mistake and you’re stuck in it and you don’t know how to get “unstuck” so, there may be panic or fear, anxiety or even insomnia…Some kind of insanity you go through?

The keys to a happier life without any regret is to trust in Allah, god, and also tie your camel- an old proverb actually to mean that yes you trust in God but you don’t just dive undersea. The dumbest person is he who thinks, “I trust in god, i really do…I believe!” and then decides to take a dive underwater in a quest for pearls or what have you…When in reality he is a bad-swimmer, has no experience whatsoever and becomes panic-stricken ever so easily. Such a person is not only fool but if one thinks to trust in Allah,sincerely then she must also tie the loose ends and take precaution. Some people today, try to be sincere with themselves and in belief but they completely lose sense of intelligence or “human brains”…One can easily mean well and want to do good but fall short due to being naiive. We must be wise, and remember that to avoid making mistakes is not possible.

Allah is always going to test us, the more He loves,, the more He will test you in accordance with the strength you have to take on the test- as we must remind ourselves that He gives no hardship more than we can bear. What I do is I move on after making a mistake, so you made a mistake in life and perhaps its the biggest mistake or regret you ever made. Why cry over spilt milk?

Escaping your regret is difficult, but then is also easy: repent to Allah (this is where you’re tying your camel, or doing your own part) and thereafter move on with it, walk off and don’t look back (at your regret or mistake). It sounds impossible, but believe me when i tell you- if you really cannot help crying over the past, mistakes and regrets and all- then at least remind yourself of it all when you are: very grateful, very remorseful or very happy before Allah. When you are happy, and you remember your past mistakes- you balance your happiness and get that healthy diet of such an emotion because an intensity or a fire of fuelled happiness in excess may be harmful or if not life-threatening because in life, there’ll always be something easy to let you down or disappoint you. We must prepare for best and for worse. Balancing our emotions! Feeling remoreful bfore Allah after feeling the pain of the past, or regretting! Thus we repent. What next? Move on with your life, remember to take life-lessons from the past. Take the good from it and leave the bad, and this is where your trust in Allah comes to place. You trust in Him that you will not ever repeat your past action, and that you will try to be hopeful. I trust Allah will give me something better/ will make it easy on me/take care of it all etc.

In all honesty, much of our current problems are due to our emotions and how we look at it. If we change our outlook in life, and of our problems or situations- if we look with a vision of hope, determination, positivity and if we remember Allah constantly…What negative is there left to feel? Or go through?

Allah and putting our trust in Him properly, in the right time and place, makes all the big difference in our lives 🙂

When the going gets tough, what are you gonna do?

You are always at war within yourself…
Many people may not realize how much there is in them that fights off what prevents one from actually living, and living to the very fullest.

The fight within could be anxiety, or loneliness, fear, tension or grief- for everyone- there is a fear that keeps us alive and there is a fear that keeps us from living. The fear that keeps us alive, and that gives us the drive and the push or shove to do something or to do what it takes is: taqwa or fear in Allah. The fear of Allah keeps us alive because no human can live without a fear else such a being is careless, undaunted or unconcerned of anyone or anything- which may lead to arrogance or pride; a destructive emotion that overwhelms and overpowers the entire being from sanity and humility. Why we as Muslims prostrate ourselves before the King of kings, Allah? Why is it that we prostrate with our forehead and our nose? It is due to those parts of our face, that is the resemblance and symbol of pride and self-importance, or aloofness and superiority and why would Allah create us with our a nose on our face or a forehead high? If He so Willed, He could’ve fashioned us with a nose elsewhere…But this is impossible because Allah has created us in the best of moulds and designs and we as human-beings- WE are the preferred and the best of mankind, of creations. So, to humbly prostrate our dignity: the top-most of us are the nose and the forehead as it is held high up and not way down, for example near our feet, no. So, to humbly prostrate ourselves before Allah and press the ground with our nose and forehead in clear submission- we are humbling and degrading ourselves before Allah so we can be reminded at the same time of the importance it is to distinguish our position before Allah. We are not our own man as they would put it, we are not our own god but Allah is our Lord and King and we are His Servants. This is the exact reason why Iblis forgot himself completely as pride and arrogance consumed him, that when he were commanded to bow and prostrate before Allah the Creator- he clearly refused and even became distastefully envious of Adam, he did not want to humble himself before his Creator and the same Creator Who created Adam (AS). Why? Due to pride and arrogance, his self-importance destroyed him.

There is a war in every man and woman, a fight within to overcome the Iblis or the evil in ourselves. Loneliness is not evil, or grief or anxiety- it is part of human nature…But we need to feel ourselves close to nature and how do we come close to nature? How can we bond and ‘befriend’ nature? Nature is not our remedy here but Allah because Allah is revealed and is found through nature too. The answer is simple as to “how” He is so: when we prostrate to Allah in our five prayers or in duaa, we as close to the ground or earth as possible. There is no way you can get any “down-to-earth” as the prostration to Allah. This is also why we prostrate to NO-ONE other than Allah because we all know that Allah is greater than mankind and He is greater than humans or any other creature. Greater than the “king of the jungle: the lion”, and because of His Power and Majesty and His Greatness, we feel humbled during our prostration and we lower ourselves touching the ground: our knees, hands, nose and forehead and our toes. There is a wisdom why we prostrate with such specific joints of our body, there is a wisdom behind that and in many ways I cannot begin by explaining how so it is.

So, what do we do when the going gets tough or when there is a fight we’re having to put up with within? Prostrate yourself before Allah and just see what happens, as it is better than one-hundred times of practicing the yoga or “meditating”- as we are reminded that WE are servants to serve only Allah the Greatest, the Majestic who is more merciful to His servants than a mother is to her own child.

Part II will explain Inshaa’Allah what the fear is that keeps us from living, a fear most people possess and do not think to eliminate.

Just a window to her world…

in this same prim way she ponders

In the rather short span of my life, I’d always kept some room in my time and day to look at the smallest things in life and enjoy, experience and understand it all…In the same way a little girl would do when a small garden-snail is seen on th cobbled, wet ground.  I found one interesting thing, an animal, which turned my life around and changed the big world of my own. Nora was her name: a cat of tortishell colour and she was a stray cat, I would always find her in our building. Unlike many strays she was not timid or rabid, in fact, I later soon found myself to be so! As I had accidentally slammed the door and it’d hit her small, furry face…I never forgave myself after that day.

There are many things you can tell about a cat, some cats would appear like any other ordinary cat but it takes a real, special furry feline to captivate your heart and enchant your vision and mind. This little cat, Nora, did exactly that and more! She was always by my side as I would go on my way to the usual language-lessons I’d attended early every morning, as if meeting me at the door and then bidding farewell as she merely sits upright, tail curled neatly around her prim cuddled-together fore and hindlegs.

…I just want to make mention that such a cat- being a cat– appeared to have a rather human intellect and understanding. I would never know if she ever had previous owners but she certainly had a good pedigree and bloodline, as  I later learnt to fight against all odds and brave the struggles you face in life and that it is part of Life, normal; in the same way the most difficult time for her was when she struggled during pregnancy, Nora gave birth behind a rusty old gate, and a pack of stray, dirty dogs came rushing upstairs hungrily. This wise, old mother-cat only sat primly behind and intelligently looked up in the dark as two, three or four snouts with big wolf-like teeth appeared now and then.

I could’ve died to keep Nora as a pet, this cat who understood me well in an amazing sense, in a manner as if she begged everyday to be let in. I could not have kept her as my family and I were always on the move- being travellers and all- and we could hardly afford the time or even effort or money to sort the cat out let alone ourselves! But Al-Hamdullilah praise is to god, the day we moved from that flat and I saw her totter upstairs with a queer expression on her face…I gingerly stroked her and petted her back (because I’d have to wash my hands after) but thankfully- she was more curious and interested about what went on in the flat than of me! Obviously we’d emptied out the flat, no furniture,nothing.

This is just a short article or a window to her world but in my minds’ eye- the world she showed me cannot be described, or explained.

Every animal has a story, and like Dewey the famous library cat these are just one of many, unique understanding animals that can behave like a strange, warped or rusted key to your heart or presence as a human…And *chink* it unlocks like unbolting an old wood-oak door to a mysterious, secret garden. The garden Nora showed me was like taking another great big breath of life, realistically or not, I know when I’ve come across a diamond in the rough.

You will always be remembered, Nora, wherever you are, dead or alive. You even won over my mothers’ heart- a heart difficult to capture and win over as we all know how hygenic and fussy she is! (no offense, mother!) when Nora is mentioned on our lips or in our hearts or mind it would moisten my eyes; to go back and walk through Memory Lane and just reflect on the past can be -for some people in this world- it is just too difficult and rather emotional.

🙂